Before phones existed, your words and facial expressions were the main indicators of your moods and feelings. If someone was sad, you could see it in their face or hear it in the tone of their voice. Now, people obviously still can understand those expressions through face-to-face conversations, but since Mr. Edison himself created that phone thing, the universe has had to relearn the way we explain ourselves and understand each other. When texting got thrown into the deal, everything turned upside down. If someone said “K” to me, I would 100% believe they were trying to ruin my day. But if you tack on a “:)”, the whole interaction is changed and I completely believe you are about to buy me something nice.
When the world realized that a simple and wouldn’t always solve the confusion, the people at SpiceLoop created the iEmoji iPhone app, and the world thanked them. For the first time, iPhone users had hundreds of emoticons to describe our deepest feelings, right at our fingertips. The world rejoiced, and a fad was born.
Now, just like texting, the meaning of each Emoji can be a bit confusing. Since I have had the iPhone since it’s debut in 2007, I consider myself a seasoned Emoji user; a savant if you will. Lo and behold, I will take you through 23 of the most used and confused Emojis so you can see what people are really trying to say.
What we really mean when we send these to each other:
- “Whatever you just did made me feel really cuddly and wiggly”
- “OMG UR PERFECT” or “WAIT LET’S WATCH MAGIC MIKE AGAIN!!!!!”
- “wait wut” or “oh no… that was more than a baby toot”
- “WHY DIDN’T I JUST SAY HI?!?!” or “WHY IS MAGIC MIKE OVER??!!?!?”
- “I didn’t understand that you’d ACTUALLY throw up though…” or “sorry I did that identity theft thing…it was just that 7 times though…”
- “You have no idea that I just kept your beard shavings!” or “DAYUM! I HURD DAT! OOOO BOI U FINE”
- “Oops! Sorry I pooped in the sink!”- that one is in the rare case that a baby has an iPhone.
- “WHY CANT I FIND A PLUS ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE HE ACTUALLY LIKES BEING HERE?!?!” or “WHY IS MAGIC MIKE OVER??!!?!?”
- “I can’t even look at you” or “GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY” or “YOU’RE ON THIN ICE, BUDDY”
- “I’m sending this because you made some racial comment, mentioned a taco, creeper, peeping tom, or said something about a piñata.”
- “pfffft and then I was like ‘I don’t even care about that hag’ and then just like whatever, got up and straight LEFT.”
- “Wait… didn’t you always think we were maybe a little more than JUST cousins???”
- “UR MY BEST FRIEND AKA NEVER LEAVE ME AKA DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT ANY BFF U HAD B4 ME LOLOL”
- “haaaaaaaaaaaaay” or “she literally has the grossest cheek bones, like they look like this.”
- “ya ya ya ya so fluffy and cute and ya ya ya ya”
- “I wanna be like those old chinese ladies when we grow up. They match and don’t even talk to each other. It’s perfect.” or “SRSLY how funny would it b if we REALLY went to that ching chong place on the corner HAHAHA sooo ironic k let’s do it.”
- “Let’s go traveling! Wait we can’t! Remember that movie Taken?! That’s gonna be usss! FER SURE! But then Liam Neeson will save us and it’ll be super cool! But then the second movie will come out and it’ll be like we are the main character but we learned all of our cool dads tricks so we can save him! but I think my mom dies in it? I don’t remember because I was eating SO much popcorn! HAHA. Wait but seriously let’s travel!”
- “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” or “Baby”
- “Doesn’t this look like an an ancient elephant-copter?”
- “This is gonna be me in two days if I don’t get up, shower, and wash my face. Wrinkles are SO 2011.”
- “It was seriously SO nice to meet you! Yeah, I’m like super chill, no worries about calling me right away, but here’s my number. BUT REALLY call me right when I walk out of the door or else you are putting our future family in jeopardy like seriously look at Johnny!!!! DON’T FORGET TO CALL ME OR JOHNNY WON’T EVEN EXIST– DO YOU HEAR ME? But yeah I mean whatever it was cool to meet you.”
- “I’m feeling really balanced lately.”
- “hehe look, my Totino’s Pizza Roll has a bone in it! hahaha. Wait what is in these things… Whatever YOLO!!”
There you have it friends, and welcome to a whole new world of understanding.