Shh Taylor, Just Shh.

Shh Taylor, Just Shh.

(Photo by Splash News)

It has officially been about a week since our very own Taylor Swift has started her journey into single life, and it’s most likely been the worst week of her life while simultaneously supplying the world with 5 more break-up songs. The pop sensation has been serial dating since she hit stardom years ago, and has taken down a variety of men with her featured weapon: song-attack.

Her hit list?

  • Joe Jonas (he broke up with her on a 27-second phone call)
  • John Mayer (he probably just started singing louder than her until she couldn’t handled it, then realized he was the age of her dad and drove away)
  • Taylor Lautner (he probably really looked up to Taylor, literally and metaphorically)
  • Corey Moneith (wait no, you can only date Lea Michelle)
  • Jake Gyllenhaal (he probably initiated this relationship due to overwhelming confusion after filming Brokeback Mountain)
  • Conor Kennedy (ew Taylor, he was 18)
  • Harry Styles (first, he was also 18, and secondly, he only wanted to go One Direction from Taylor, and that was away)

So, you see, somehow her innocent lyrics wash our brains clean of the crazy man stomping she’s doing! How long will we let this happen? When will we stand up for romantic pop and get some real commitment happening in here? CAN I GET AN AMEN? Don’t get me wrong, I, and just about everyone else, loves some T-Swift, but the dating deal has got to stop. Write a song about a couch, homegirl.

Here’s what you need to know: Taylor Swift is currently single (although I haven’t refreshed my browser in 10 minutes) and if anyone happens to see her, tell her that it’s time to shh and take a rest.


If you HAD to pick: Who should Taylor date next?